Perky Little Elves
by Magipen
Summary: It's Harry and Ginny's wedding and after leaving England for seven years Hermione has to come back to be maid of honor and face old school mates. Story full of fluff , dogs that have a taste for Harry's couch and bitchy Ron.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Nothings mine. I wish it was I would be sooooo rich! 

Love is a perky little elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a sub-machine gun

-Matt Goring 

__

Dear Hermione, 

Look I know it's been a long time and you're probably absorbed with your busy life, but Hermione. Well I don't know how to tell you this, it's not something that you tell in a letter, is it? But I'm getting married! Yeah, I am. Ginny actually said yes and she wants you to be maid of honor. Will you come back?

Love, Harry

Hermione sighed. Wow, her best friend was getting married. She would love to go but then she would have to see him....

__

Seventh Year

He had left her, that was all she could think about. Know-it-all Hermione Granger, Head Girl for her year, for once has nothing to say. She was numb with shock. The hurt of being dumped was horrible, stupid prat, saying she didn't know how to have fun, humph how could she not? She knew everything else, monkshood and wolfsbane are the same thing, transfiguring a living animal took precise math, and you couldn't appearerate inside Hogswarts ground. But is that important a little voice in her head asked. Hermione shook her head of course it was. No the real reason was that stupid brainless slut or was it whore there was a difference you know, it was in the dictionary. Anyway that stupid…girl, Sally-Anne, what a stupid name! Who had two name for a first name Hmmm? Slutty whores that's who! _Stupid prat_ she thought again, Ron's going to have a field day with this one. It seems that he loved seeing her unhappy. She sighed and got up from the table in the library and headed to the common room. She passed a group of laughing Ravenclaw and glared at them, He wasn't among them but still he was in their house, and seeing them happy while she felt so miserable really ticked her off she was tempted to take off points. 

The common room was empty. _Good maybe I could go upstairs and cry_ Hermione thought to herself, not that she wanted to cry or anything. She quickly walked toward her room. Almost there.

"Hey Mione, I was wondering where you were." Ron Weasley self-proclaimed best friend made his endearing appearance almost down the stairs. _Damn._

"Library." Hermione said trying to look normal.

"Oh? For what? We don't have any thing due. it's almost the end of the year." 

"Studying for NEWTS?" she said not even believing herself.

"Are you sure there wasn't anything on the calendar." asked referring to the calendars that Hermione had printed out at the beginning of the year and had handed it out to Ron and Harry." Really Hermione why study the test is tomorrow if you don't know it wont' be on the test. I doubt there anything that you don't know or think you do" he said smiling. "So what were you doing." 

"Will, you stop being nosy! I was studying on my own." When the bloody hell had Ron stopped being thick as a block.

"Hmm…really."

"Yes really."

Ron walked the remaining distance down and peered into Hermione's eyes, it was bit difficult considering the one and a half foot height difference.

"Girls put mascara on when they go study?"

Hermione turned red and pushed him away causing Ron to stumble and almost fall. "Go away." She hissed.

"Aww….come on Mione, I was just joking I know you were in the library snogging that git Boot." He said not even trying to keep the loathing for the other boy out of his voice.

"I…I…hate you!" Hermione growled turning around and heading to her room. Ron caught her by the shoulders and turned her back around.

"Hermione what's wrong?" Ron asked, worried.

"T…T…Terry broke up with me!" She said wailing.

Ron looked panicked. " Er… come on now that's not something to cry about, how about we get you some tea?"

Hermione just started to cry harder. "You idiot."

"You must not feel that bad, you're still insulting me." He said wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tight. She just cried harder. "Oh Mione, Come on sit down tell me what happened." He said pulling her into his lap.

Sniffing and wiping her nose on his collar. " He said That I was boring and a know it all."

"You are bit of a know it all, but you're not boring, how can you be, you're too smart."

Hermione smiled. "Really?"

"Really, Really."

"He said that I didn't know how to have fun.

Ron chuckled. "What? Hermione Granger not knowing something, oh god the end has come save the women and children! Really Hermione when a guy says that it mean that he wants you to… well…you know"

"Put out? Like that slut Sally-Anne." Hermione said her face screwing up again.

  
"Uh…Hermione that's not very nice."

"Well it's not nice to steal somebody else's boyfriend!" she yelled standing up. 

"Look Mione, it's not like you were going to marry the guy."

"I could have, if he asked me."

" Mione, why tie yourself down to a useless git that wouldn't make you happy?"

"I never said that I wanted to marry you Ron!" Ron looked at he opening and closing his mouth.

"That's the last time I try and comfort you! You…You…bloody bitch!" and with that her best friend turned and left the common room. 

__

Present time

She had been sorry afterwards there was no excuse for what she had said it had been stupid and. What the bloody hell had possessed her to say that!? He was trying to make her feel better and then she went off and said that he didn't even want to marry her. Hermione shook her head, Poor Harry it had probably broken his heart to see the trio split up , Thank Merlin he had Ginny. Hermione sighed, I can't say no, not after what the two of them had done for me. With that Professor Hermione rushed off to write a letter and find her owl.

AN: Hello! Thanks for reading and please review :) 


	2. According to Plan

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, except Bob

__

Dear Harry and Ginny,

Thank you for the letter, I would be honored to be your maid of honor. Thanks for asking me. Professor Anderson is allowing me to take a few days to visit. Meet me at the Leaky Cauldron today at three okay.

Love Hermione

The boy-who-lived grinned; everything was going according to the plan. Ron of course had agreed to be best man and now that Mione was maid of honor, well… Harry chuckled and leaned back into the couch.

"Hey Harry, what's so funny?" Ginny asked. Harry jumped out of his seat.

"Don't scare me like that!" Harry glared.

"Really Harry, you've been in the wizarding world for fourteen years, get use to apperarting." Ginny said tossing her hair over her shoulders. "So, what's so funny?" she asked again.

Harry grinned and showed her Hermione's letter. Ginny grinned and clapped her hands and plopped down on the couch. "It's all going to plan."

Harry nodded his head and pulled his fiancée close to him. "We should've been in Slytherin." He said kissing her.

************

"I don't care how bloody hard it is! Just do it!" Ron Weasley growled slamming his papers down.

"B…B…But sir I c…c…can't, we don't have enough evidence to convict him." Ron's new assistant stuttered.

"The man has a bloody dark mark on his arm, he's guilty!"

"H…He could've been forced." The boy said backing up against the wall and looking for a cover to hid in case Ron Weasley blew his top and deiced to curse him.

"Bullshit!" Ron said glaring at his assistant.

"W…we have to prove it." Bob said finding a file cabinet to hide behind. Today was Bob's first day as Mr.Weasley's assistant the man who had helped defeat He-who-must-not-be-named. Bob had heard about Mr.Weasley infamous temper and being the target of it, Bob had no doubts in his mind that Mr.Weasley had cursed his former assistant because he had gotten Ron decafe. Bob wondered what Mr.Weasley would do if he refused to convict Mr. Ackerley.

"Weasel, calm down." Bob sighed. Thank the gods a miracle. Bob chanced a look at the voice of reason and his breath caught in his throat. Oh my goodness, was the only thought that ran through Bob's head. She was tall for a women almost as tall as Mr.Weasley, she had long black hair that came down to her waist and dark blue eyes that matched the revealing robe that she was wearing. "Why don't you leave Jack?" she said turning her attention to Bob.

"B…Bob."  
  
"Pardon?" The women asked.

"His name's Bob, Jack quite yesterday," Ron said. "Go on Bob, get some "real" evidence. Can't keep good help all I get are blithering idiots." Bob hadn't heard the last bit about idiots he had bolted.

Ron looked over the papers he was reading. "What do you want Zabani?"

Blasie smiled at her moody co-worker and good-friend. "For you to take those anger management classes that the department chipped in for." 

Ron glared at Blaise; he had not found the gag gift at all funny. " Relax Ron, learn to take a joke." She said laughing.

"Sorry it's just that the bloody asshole is going to go free and…."  


"You want him to rot in Azkaban, yeah, yeah. I've heard it before. But you know what? I think you have more animosity to one Ravenclaw then a load of Slytherin."

"The git's a traitor." Ron said glaring at his colleague who smirked at him.

"Aren't all Deatheaters?"

Ron sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "What do you want Blaise?"

Blaise smiled and perched on his desk. "For you to answer a few questions for me." She said handing him a piece of paper.

"What's this?" 

"An invitation, dumbass. It's a Malfoy soiree. Now the question is, should I go or not?" Blaise said smiling at him.

Ron shrugged "He's innocent of any wrong doing In the war, but there'll be tons of Deatheaters probably. Do you think it's safe?"

Blaise grinned "I can take care of my self and I might be able to get evidence for the Ackerley case." She said trailing off. 

"Oh?" Ron asked trying not to look interested.

"Yeah, but I need a date…are you doing anything next Saturday?"

"It's the fourth right?" Blaise nodded. " Sure."

Blaise smiled and leisurely kissed Ron. "See you tomorrow." She said seductively.

Ron watched her leave a grin on his face. _Bloody hell she's hot._ He thought to himself and then shaking his head he went back to getting another snooty uppity pureblood deatheater into a charming suite in Azkaban.

***************

Ron sighed, Thank Merlin work was over, if he had to listen to Bob stutter for one more hour he would've gone mad. Ron took the key out of his pocket and unlocked the apartment that he shared with his best friend. The door how ever was unlocked and Ron had succeeded in locking himself out. Ron sighed and unlocked the door, cursing Harry and the rule about not apperaritng, it apparently scared the boy-who-lived, the man had serious issues and Ron wasn't sure that he wanted Harry to be reproducing, especially with his little sister. Ron shook his head as bad images filled his mind, ugh Harry and Ginny. On the bright side Ron would have his own apartment he smiled at the thought. Ron made his way to his bedroom to change and then headed toward the kitchen where he heard Harry and Ginny talking. _That's right, Ginny's maid of honor is visiting, never did get her to tell me her name, probably some brainless idiot from school._

"Sorry, I'm late my bloody assistant won't help me to convict Ackerley, Bloody ass…"

"Language Ron!" A voice from his past nagged. Ron stopped his quest for his beer and turned to look at the women seated between his sister and soon-to be brother-in-law. She had grown but not that much she was still short and the bushy mane was tamed into short curls, sadly the bossy attitude wasn't.

Ginny grinned "Hey Ron, Mione's my maid of honor."

An: Please review. Bob wants you to review; it'll pay for the therapy that he needs after working for Ron.


	3. Crone's Bar

Disclaimer: Hello I own everything, (sees' JK with a knife.) NO NO not really, it's all the women with a knife! 

Hermione fidgeted in her seat and looked around the small slightly dirty kitchen (Goodness is that piece of bread alive?) instead of at Ron who was gawking at her like some animal at a zoo. She finally looked at him nothing had changed about him except for worry lines around his face and a faint scare peeping out of the neck of the V-neck sweater. It was brown; brown really wasn't his color it was blue it matched his eyes and made his hair redder and it….

"Ehem… guys I hate to break up this staring contest but don't you want to say hello?" Ginny asked glancing between her brother and maid of honor.

"Nope." Ron said walking out of the kitchen.

The three in the kitchen watched him go. "Mione, go talk to him." Ginny ordered.

"Uh, no that's not a good idea how about I just leave…" 

"GO NOW!" Ginny yelled a demonic tone seeping into her voice. "This is the thanks I get hav…."

"Fine, I'm going." Hermione peeped meekly following Ron's footsteps. "Ron wait." She called; he was almost out of the door. Hermione looked around, he wasn't here.

"He's gone." She called back to the couple in the kitchen.

Ginny stuck her head out of the doorway. "Damn, he must of aperated…"

"What! He can't do that it's against the rules!" Harry interrupted. 

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Merlin you need therapy." Her fiancé looked hurt, Ginny sighed a kissed his cheek. "Sorry love."

Hermione smiled the two of them were so cute being lovely dovey, maybe if she hadn't screwed things up with Ron…

"Go get him Hermione." Ginny ordered. What had happened to the quite sweet meek girl?

"Uh... that's okay, I'll just go home." Hermione said.

"No." Ginny said sharply. 

"He's probably went to the Crone Bar, it's by Ministry of magic, you know where that it is, go get him or at least talk to him." Harry pleaded. Hermione sighed, really who could say know to those eyes?

"Fine." Hermione said and then apparating.

***********

Bob sighed, two whole days of no Mr. Weasley yelling at him, Merlin the man was just as bad as his old potion's professor of course instead of mean insults that Bob had rarely figured out until an hour later, Mr. Weasley yelled. The former Hufflepuff sighed maybe he should have just gone into Goblin Liaison Office. Bob could speak Goblin fluently, he used to be friend with one, Gobeteskan Goblin, Bob wondered what happened to him, after he had gotten his letter he hadn't seen much of Gobbey as he was affectingly called by friends maybe he…

Bob's breath caught in his thought, bloody hell it was her! Bob looked at the women, Mr.Weasley had called her Zabani, what an odd name for a woman, but it sounded lovely, hell Bob would sound lovely. He should say hello. Yeah and he would act smooth and go up to talk to her, yeah she probably didn't know who he was he could invent a new personality. Bob took the last swig of his beer and stood up smoothing his brown hair down._ Hi I'm Bob, Bob Wyatt, future arouror; you've never seen me around? Well I'm like an invisible…_ Bob's face fell, the manifestation of cheerful himself had just walked into the bar and was heading over to Zabani's table who looked perplexed at Ron's arrival. Bob sighed and turned and left the bar, passing a petite brunette women looking into the bar from the window.

*********

Blaise looked up from the Bloody Merlin she had felt somebody was watching her. The youngish women had been sipping and contemplating on what had gone wrong in her life half-way through the theory that she really shouldn't have told her father that she would rather eat maggots than join Voldemort's league and that might've resulted in the brutal beating afterward and then being disowned. Blaise looked around the room imperceptibly; sure enough a man was watching her. He was about five ten or so with brown hair and innocent looking brown eyes he couldn't have been more then twenty he mouthing something to himself a little grin on his face. _I'm out of your league little boy, not that you'd want me if you knew half the things I've done._ Her attention was snatched away from the brunette and turned onto the front door where an angry red haired man stomping in and yanked the chair across from Blaise and plopped down in the chair in a huff.

"Sure you can sit there, it was nice of you to ask." Blaise said sarcastically.

Ron glared at her. "She's back." He said gloomily, putting his face in his hands.

Blaise rose an eyebrow. "Whose back?"

"Hermione, for Gin and Harry's wedding, Bloody Hell it was like seeing a ghost. A beautiful ghost. Merlin she hasn't changed a bit, well she cut her hair, but it looks good it's all curly now and oh she looks so…" Ron sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry I'm rambling."

No I don't mind you rambling about a woman that you're in love with, especially since I have no love life to tell you or the lovely love triangle that you're in. Blaise wanted to say but instead. "It's okay, I know how you feel."

'What?" Ron asked completely astounded that some idiot wasn't completely in love with her or at least attracted to her.

Blaise nodded her head, "he went to Hogswarts, I was and probably am completely in love with him.

"Who?" Ron inquired leaning forward to hear more of the story of the most idiotic man on the face of the planet or at least this side of the ocean.

__

You, you idiot, and she had been, not the first four years, of course, well maybe at the end of fourth and she had not recognized the feeling or had ignored it a Weasley and a Zabani? That was just not right in her mind back then (Blame it on the propaganda of the Zabani family.) Finally in fifth or maybe at the start of sixth she set out on her way to try and win Ron Weasley's heart but fist she had to get Granger out of the way…

"Urr…Blaise can you snap back to reality?" Ron asked waving his hand in front of her face.

"What?" Blaise snapped coming out of her reverie.

"Who were you in love with?" Ron asked again leaning back into his chair teetering on the two hind legs."

Blaise shrugged, "None of your business, anyway, Weasley what did you say to Granger?"

Ron sighed and put all four legs on ground. "Absolutely, nothing! Dammit." His face growing cloudy. "I gotta have a drink," he waved a barmaid over.

"No don…." Blaise started.

But it was too late the buxomous blonde haired waitress came sashaying over, "Oh, my, god…Blaise Zabani and Ron Weasley, hell has officially frozen over." Ron looked up at the face and groaned, Ugh seventeen year old Ranya Skeeter only child of Rita Skeeter, Ron struggled to keep his temper and force his mind on not killing the menace. 

"Hello Ranya how has your summer been going?" Ron asked grinning at her.

Ranya blushed and ducked her head. "Great, Mum has been thrilled at all the scoops I've been getting a lot of people talk about their lives and don't check to see whose listening." She said smiling and running her fingers through her hair.

"Well Ranya, it's their lives and they're probably telling their friends about it, I doubt they think to look around for little eavesdroppers." Blaise told the girl scathingly and giving her haughty look that could've made the queen feel inferior. 

Ranya however didn't notice, or chose not too "SO what can I get for you Mr.Weasley?" She asked.

"Fire Whiskey." 

The girl nodded and went to fetch the liquor while she was behind the bar. Ron grabbed Blaise's hand, "Come on let's go."

"What?"  


"I don't want to talk to mini- Rita, You don't want to talk to mini-Rita. Let's just blow this clambake. Simon made a very big mistake when he hired her." He said standing up. Blaise nodded and gathered her jacket.

"Where to, Weasel?"

Ron shrugged his jacket on. "I dunno, how about a muggle movie? I don't really want to go home."

Blaise nodded and they sneaked out the door.

******************

Hermione sighed; she was suppose to be smart how come she kept screwing up? She should of jumped up and hugged him or at least say hi, maybe he wouldn't of left maybe flying pigs will replace airliners. Hermione paused outside the huge window of Crone's Bar the snow and almost slipped on the snow that was gathering. "Bloody Hell, that's a lawsuit in…."She was cut off form the thought because she had just looked into the bar and to her horror was Ron Weasley and what looked like a super model chatting like they were best friends, Hermione looked down at the ground that was blurred because of the tears in her eyes _I knew this was a bad idea! I should have just stayed in Montana! _ Sniffling she apperated back to Winders School for Sorcery. 

AN: I just noticed I use a lot of…. Those don't I? Sorry anyway do what the little button says and review!


	4. Friday

An: Hello long time no see or write, whatever, Sorry about not updating for a long time, I just got a little puppy and every time that I sit down to write he needs to empty his bladder or chew on my toe and every time I want to sleep he wants to play or bite my toe. Pretty soon all I will have is a little nub where my big toe used to be. Anyway I own nothing, it all belongs to my adorable dog, yep, my dog writes the Harry Potter series. 

__

There was Hermione standing in a wedding gown the white of the dress . Her hair was up in the same style as of the Yule Ball except somebody had placed flowers in her hair. She was holding Hyacinth's (her favorite flower.) pretty blue(Her favorite color.) ones and one or two roses. It would of all been lovely except for the dungeon Hermione was standing in and for the dead bodies lying around her.

"Oh Ron I'm so glad you came! I'm so scared!" She said as soon as Ron walked up.

"Don't worry Mione, I'll take care of you." He murmured pulling her into his arms.

"No he can't! He's nothing but a loser! Hasn't even read Hogswarts: A History!" Ron looked over his shoulder, just as he suspected, Terry Boot in all of his none red head splendor. Hermione pushed Ron away from her and ran into Terry's arms. 

"Oh Terry! I've always loved you! I've never loved Ron, the bloody idiot besides he's a nasty old red head with too many freckles. I prefer your beautiful blonde hair! Come on let's go Terry and get married."

"No wait! Hermione don't go! I love you! Please come back! I love you!" Ron said running after the couple," 

"I love you!"Ron said waking up with a start.

"Sorry buddy, but I don't play for that team." Harry said grinning.

The red head looked at Harry with a bewildered expression. "What the bloody hell are you doing in my room?"

"Oh, I was just getting one of your robes, mine are all dirty. Oh yeah and Ginny says that we're going out to eat for dinner." 

Ron sighed, "If Ginny- Dictator says, then it must be done."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Harry asked.

"Nothing except you're completely whipped." Ron muttered under his breath pushing the covers away.

"Whoa, buddy don't get out nude before I exit the room and don't forgot to feed Chudley." Harry said leaving the room.

*******

Ginny Weasley (soon to be Potter, yippee!) sighed it was two weeks after Hermione had disappeared from England. Ron was being his usual git self on the subject of what exactly happened and Hermione avoided the subject in her letters. Honestly how was she suppose to be match maker when they wouldn't even talk about what happened? She really wished that Hermione was here, maybe she could've helped Ginny get out of the pickle that she was in now.

"Now Ginny, I want to talk to you about the birds and the bees." Molly Weasley had started out the talk. Ginny had immediately tried to flee.

"That's okay Mum, I've had the talk about twelve years ago." Ginny said standing up to leave.

"What? Who told you?" _Umm…. People should write books on what to do in these situations _Ginny thought to herself, "Uh…Dad!" she said blaming her absent father who was busy working to get a paycheck. 

"Oh? Well let me tell you a few things that your father probably left out." The women who couldn't take a hint the size of a rhino aka Molly Weasley said.

"What did Dad leave out?" Fred asked entering the kitchen and heading straight for the freshly baked cookies and milk, his twin following him. 

"Sex dear, I'm going to tell Ginny what to do on her honeymoon." Their mother told them.

Fred snorted the milk he had been drinking out, George roared with laughter. "I'm sure Harry will appreciate that Mum." He gasped. 

Ginny glared at her twin brothers. " I have to go Mother, Mione is coming back to help me with the wedding and I nee…"

"Hermione's coming back?" Molly Weasley brightened. "Great invite her to Christmas. I'm tired of Ron running around with that Blaise girl." 

Ginny nodded " Hopefully Ron won't scare her off." 

**********

"Professor! Professor, what about the Qudamitacal Theory of Unrealized Magical Power?" Hermione sighed and turned around to face the class. It was of course Bessie Miller, resident know it all of Winders School of Sorcery.

"How about you shut up and we can learn about it on Monday?" Neal Bradley teasing t the seventeen-year-old girl. The girl narrowed her green eyes at the boy and then grinned back at Neal and kissed her boyfriend

"Actually it's a good thing that Bessie mentioned it, I'm not going to be here at all next week or the week after that, so you need to learn about quadmatical theory before the exam." Hermione said smiling when she heard her small group of students groan.

"Why?" Neal asked.

"My best friend is getting married, I'm maid of honor." Hermione grimaced.

"Why is that bad?" A girl from the back asked.

"I never said it was bad." Hermione glanced at the girl, who kept asking questions; her name was Opal and according to Bessie the nosiest girl at Winders.

"You made a face…" Opal told her.

"Yeah, like my dad's face when our bull stomped his foot." Bessie put in.

"Damn bull why can't it just stand still when somebody's emasculating him?" Neal added

Hermione sighed when the whole class giggled. "It's not bad. It's just that I don't like going back to England and… look let's just get started on our work."

"Why don't you like going back to England?" A boy on Neal's other side asked.

"It's just because I…"  
  
"Do you drink tea in England?" somebody else interrupted.

"Are you going to stay there for Christmas?"

"When's your friend getting married?"  
  
Hermione sighed. "Yes to both. May first, now come on we need…" RIIINNNGGG the bell rang and the group of seniors left the class while Hermione bellowed at the top of her voice about the homework due to the sub, none of the class (except for Bessie paid her any attention.). _Great, off to jolly old England._ Hermione thought to herself.

*******

Bob glared at his boss; Mr. Weasley had to be the most unbearable man to work with. Why couldn't he be Harry Potter's assistant? Louie, Mr. Potter's assistant, was allowed to take two hour lunch breaks! It was a miracle if Bob was allowed a thirty-minute break. Of course Louie wasn't able to see Ms. Zabani everyday. Bob sighed, _Gotta take the good with the bad _as his mother was fond of saying.

"Hey Wyatt will you come back to reality?" Ron snapped.

"Sorry sir." Bob said looking toward the group that surrounded the large conference table. Ron just rolled his blue eyes.

"You shouldn't be so tough on the boy." A woman in her fifties berated.

"Olga is right Ron." Harry added, "Even Canker wasn't as vile as you're to Bob."

"Why thank you Potter." Miles Canker said. "Weasley, you're doing fine with the boy." Ron smiled at his mentors approval.

"Figures that you would take the advice of a loony-tune." Bob muttered under his breath, sadly it wasn't quiet enough for Ms. Zabani and Mr. Weasley to overhear. _Bloody Hell_.

************

"Pardon?" Ron asked raising an eyebrow.

The boy was shaking like a leaf and looked like he wanted to take back what he said however, "You heard me sir."

Ron sat back in his chair smirking. "How old are you Bob?" 

"T…T…Twenty-five, sir."

He wasn't that much younger then him. " Have any brothers and sisters?"

"Y…Y…Yes sir, a little sister Rila two step-brothers Terrence and Tim. Sir no offense or anything but what does this have to do with me getting fired?"

"Who ever said anything about firing you?" Ron asked raising an eyebrow, "I just want to get to know you." 

"Yeah right sir." 

"Excuse me Ron. Can we get back to the meeting, you can get to know your assistant later." Harry said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Thank you Harry, now that we have that image in our heads, I call this meeting adjoined." Sirius Black (Head of the Aurors Division) said happily. The Aurors happily adjourned the meeting and proceeded to socialize with each other. Ron eagerly talked to Adan Drooms who had a brother on a Cannon's team.

"Hey Zabani, doing any thing tonight?" Zack DiLeone one of the newer Aurors ( and in Blaise's opinion the most annoying man on Earth who should have been drowned as a baby or just stuck back in.) asked.

"Yes, making passionate love to Ron, why?" most people snickered, while Zack who had turned a lively shade of pink (that was commonly seen on blushing school girls.) Hurried away saying something about his fish and walking it. 

" Really they shouldn't have these meetings on Friday, it brings the morale down." Miles Canker said glaring. _Yeah right, Mr. Morale-riser._ Ron thought to himself smirking Miles Canker was legendary for being an A-class jerk.

"I better go Kay has been planing a vacation for the past three weeks. She'll kill me if I'm late." Adan Drooms said saying good-bye to Ron who for the hundredth time thanked Adan for the season pass to the Cannon's game. Blaise trotted over from talking to Bob and reassuring him that Ron wasn't going to fire him or disembowel.

  
"Hey Weasley, you've really scared Wyatt." Blaise muttered glaring at her friend.

"Sorry," Ron said not looking the least bit sorry. "Ginny Harry and I are going out tonight, why don't you come?" Ron asked grinning down at his co-worker.

Blaise hesitated. "Umm…okay, do you mind if I bring Bob?"

"Bob?" Ron asked looking confused.

"Yeah, thanks. Bye, see you tonight." She said grinning and trotting back to Bob.

****

Harry glanced over to Ron who looked forlorn. Harry nodded at Sirius who was happily chatting away about his new little daughter Kallisto and how she had mastered sleeping through the night. He had told Blaise about the plan and she had happily agreed to it, but why was she talking to Ron still? She was a Slytherin, you could never trust them could you? Harry sighed and glanced at his watch, shit five-thirty, and he and Ron still needed to feed Chudley. 

"I'm sorry Sirius but I've got to go, We're suppose to meet Gin and Mione at Susam. I'll come and see Kalli tomorrow." Harry said hugging his godfather good bye.

"Okay and bring Chudley by, Kalli loves dogs."

*******

"Hermione! Oh I 'm so glad to see you!" Ginny said throwing her arms around the older women.

"Me too Gin." Hermione said smiling and patting her on the back. Ginny stepped back and Hermione surveyed her friend. Ginny wasn't on any terms supermodel like, unfortunately she had inherited her father's lanky appearance, flat chest and bright red hair. But love had made her beautiful. No model could achieve the beauty that Ginny had. Even with all the make-up in the world, expensive clothes and tons of fashion experts. " You didn't take off from work to great me, did you?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, I took the day off. First I had to go over to see Mum about the guest list and then I went to get some magazines, Oh I have the loveliest wedding dress to show you, and then I went around to see some churches, I can't decide if I want an outside wedding or not. Then I had to do some paper work for Mr.Sanderson, you would think that being my own boss wouldn't make me have to do any work for any one else." Ginny took a deep breath while Hermione chuckled, after fifth year Ginny really had opened up and had become the chatterbox.

"Do have any thing that you need help with?" Hermione asked. 

"Oh, no it's Friday , lets start Monday okay? Now come on is this all the bags you have?" Ginny asked gesturing to the two shoddy bags on the floor.

"Yes." 

"Okey-dokey, come on I made up the spare bedroom for you, blue is still your favorite color right? Hermione nodded and shouldered her bags. "Oh we're going out to eat tonight, is that okay?" Ginny asked leading Hermione down a small canary-yellow hallway.

"Yeah that's fine, where?" 

"Susams it's a great little outdoor restaurant, you'll love it." Ginny said turning around and smiling, "Here's your room." Hermione stepped into her room that would be hers for the next three weeks, she hated it. Instead of a baby-blue that she loved, Ginny had painted it bright turquoise perhaps to draw away from the hideous color or maybe because she had some extra paint the bride-to-be had added the bright canary yellow of the hallway. "You love it, don't you?" Ginny asked smiling from ear to ear mistaking the brunette's shocked expression for one of joy. "I was thinking of having the brides maid dress this color."

"NO!" Hermione shouted turning around and almost tripping over her suitcase, it was bad enough that her room was this color but to be seen out in public in a dress of this color….she would slit her wrist. "I mean, it's lovely for a room but don't you think it would look kind of tacky for a dress?" 

Ginny thought about this for a minute. "Yeah you're right Mione, I'm so glad you're helping me plan this thing. We have reservations in half an hour get dressed." Ginny said smiling and disappearing with a smile.

Hermione sighed and smiled. _Why the hell did I come back?_

An: Do a little dance and review! 


	5. Susams

Disclaimer: Hello, I own nothing it's all JK's. Yea the Order Of the Phoenix is almost out!!!

Ginny sighed and turned around in the mirror again, the red dress would simply have to go.   


"Really dear, I don't know what possessed you to by it, did you even try it on?" the mirror asked. "it's obvious from the cut of it that you need something to fill it with. which you sorely lack." Ginny sighed again, what was even more depressing then lacking breasts was a patronizing mirror. There was a a spell….maybe she should try it. Ginny was just about to pull out her wand when she remembered Harry's take on the subject of her ironing board like chest. _I think you're great Ginny love, even without some err…equipment._ Ginny smiled, merlin she loved him. "Not to mention the color, red? What were you high? And you're too tall for that honestly you like a whore getting ready for work."

Ginny glared at her mirror. " Thank you for you're opinion, future shreds of glass" Ginny muttered the last bit of that to her herself. The red head angrily ripped the pretty red dress off and threw it on her bed and entered her closet that looked a bit like a war zone, with clothes thrown about. "Hmm… what about the yellow one? No wore it last time, the green one? No I look like a Christmas tree .The blue one?"

"I don't think so what about this one?" Hermione asked.

Ginny jumped, Hermione was standing in the middle of the room holding up a peach colored silk dress. Ginny looked at the dress; it was the one that her mum had given her when she and Harry had announced their engagement. "Umm…okay, but didn't it have little bows on it?"

Hermione grimaced. "Yes but I just charmed them off, is that okay? What were you thinking? Buying a dress with bows? A bit four-year-oldish don't you think?"

"My mother gave it to me." 

"Oh, that explains it." Hermione said laughing.

"I've got my mother to blame, but what about you? That's got to be the ugliest dress I've ever seen." Ginny said glancing at her friends dowdy brown dress. "What were you thinking?"  


"It's sophisticated!" Hermione said indignantly smoothing the fabric down.

"No it's just ugly. You can't wear it to Susams!" Ginny frowned crossing her arms.

"But I don't have anything to wear, how about I stay at home? Ron's going to be there isn't he?" Hermione said frowning.

"Yes, he is my brother and he's my fiancé best friend, he used to be yours too. By the way, what the hell happened?"  


"Nothing, come on let's go." Hermione said sighing and twisting a curl around her finger.

"No way, I'm not going to be seen out in public with you dressed like that! Here barrow one of my dresses." Ginny said looking around her room. Her eyes landed on the red dress that she had thrown onto the bed. "Hey how about this one?" 

"Uh, no that's okay I'll just get a pair of…"

"Put it on!" Ginny ordered raising her wand. "Or I'll curse you from here to that school of yours."

Hermione raised her hands. "Fine, Fine but don't you think you're a little bossy?"

Ginny threw her head up and laughed. "That's rich coming from Hermione Granger."

**********

Ron groaned it was bad enough that he had to go to Susams (that in his opinion was an over rated hovel.) but this was the fifth time that Chudley, his new dog had attempted to eat the couch.

"Bad Chudley! Bad boy!" He yelled at the dog. 

"Woof!" Chudley said happily gazing adoringly up at his owner and wagging his massive tail that sent a small lamp crashing into the wall (he probably would've made an excellent beater for his namesake.) Hearing the crash the boy who lived rushed out of his room, wand in hand and clad in only a towel. 

He caught sight of Ron and smiled one of those I told you so smiles. "Told you we should have kept on driving." Harry said referring to the acquisition of their new canine roommate. Where Ron had threatened to adva kadava him if they didn't stop and pick up the starving stray "Dogs are nothing but trouble, they chew, they eat everything. Things that I did not know were edible, not to mention they shit. Especially this one, Merlin some of that dog's bowel movements are bigger then me!" Chudley whined and looked a bit embarrassed 

"Stop it Harry, you've embarrassed him." Ron said bending down and hugging the cow like dog. "Besides you would eat everything too if you had probably been starving since the day you were born. Go get dressed, git, you're scaring me and Chudley for life, no pun intended." 

Harry rolled his eyes and fixed the couch and lamp with his wand. "Hurry up we have to be at Susams in ten minutes."

"Can I take Chudley?" Ron asked.

Harry thought about it for a minute. "No"

"Oh come on, it's outside" Ron said glaring at him.

Harry shook his head. "No way, it's a restaurant. You don't take dogs to restaurants, especially ones that'll probably eat the table and chairs for an appetizer."

"There's no sign that says we can't…"

"No!"

"Look Harry, it's either take Chudley with us or have him eat the couch…again."

Harry sighed, why hadn't he took Malfoy up on his offer in first year?

***************

Hermione stared ahead face as blank as a Hufflepuff's mind, but inside questions were racing through her mind. What was she doing in England? What kind of masochist or women-hater had invented high-heeled shoes? Who was this Chudley that guy that Ginny hated so much? Why couldn't she be friends with some normal non-threatening bride-to-be? And why in the world were they going out to eat at an outside restaurant when it was ten degrees out side?

Ginny stopped outside of a small cottage covered with ivy. "Okay Mione, remember to keep your legs closed…"

"I beg your pardon Ginny!" Hermione said indignity. "I have no interest in your brother at all, he's…"

"Uh, Mione I wasn't talking about my brother, in fact feel free to shag him." Ginny chuckled at her maid of honor's out burst. "I meant it literally, Chudley likes sticking his nose up women's skirts." Ginny said striding into the restaurant. Hermione stared after her What?

****

**********

Ron Weasley was ticked, no reason in particular…except that he was about to drown in drool that his neighbors, Chudley and Bob Wyatt were producing. Of course they were salivating over separate things, Bob was drooling over Blaise's low cut red dress and Chudley at the ice cream that two men were sharing the couch apparently hadn't been enough, he had already devoured a small child's ice cream, well not really he had promptly spit that out when the child started sobbing, four unattended plates of pork chops and a birthday cake, and some green thing that Ron did not want to identify.

"Don't even think of it boy." Ron muttered to him. The dog whined and thumped his tail and continued staring at the men and their ice cream.

"Ron, Why so glum?" Harry asked from across the table where he had sensibly placed himself. Chudley found Harry's shoes very tasty, especially when they were on his feet.

"I'm not glum, glum would imply that I'm sad, which I'm not. I'm about to be physically sick if somebody at our table doesn't stop slobbering." Bob immediately sat up from his gazing.

"You know you're right Ron. I think Chudley has something wrong with him, normal dogs don't eat as much as he does or slobber." Blaise agreed. Nobody ever said Slytherins were exactly smart. "Don't you agree Bob?" She asked trying to pull her date into the conversation.

"I don't really like dogs." The brunette said running a hand through his hair and staring at Chudley who had shifted his attention from the couple to Bob and whined.

"Really, why?" Ron asked. Plans of bringing Chudley to work and having Bob pee in his pants with fear forming in his mind.

"Mmm… I was chased by a group of dogs when I little."

"Oh, sorry I brought it up mate. Don't worry about old Chudley…as long as you don't taste good he won't eat you." Ron said grinning. "I'm sure we can ask Blaise what you taste like." His comment was cut short by a threatening growl from Blaise.

Ron chuckled. "Bit protective, aren't we Zabani?" 

Harry distracted the two Aurors from the brewing fight. "There they are! Bloody hell, doesn't seven o clock mean seven o clock or is it code for seven ten?" he asked glancing at his watch and then at the late comers.

"Oh don't get your knickers in a twist." Blaise said waving at Ginny, whom she had become good friends with over the past three years. "Wow Granger sure has cleaned up." Ron twisted in his seat just in time to see Hermione "Grace" Granger fall flat on her face.

***********

_ ****_

Kill ME! Please do it the muggle way or the any way, just take me from this plane of existence Or better yet have crack open up on this floor and sallow me up! Hermione silently pleaded to whomever was watching over her. Which at this moment Hermione doubted anybody was.

Ginny bent down and tugged at her arm. "Don't worry Mione, nobody saw." _Right and Draco Malfoy never meant to be a hateful little ferret._ Hermione sighed and stood up, schooling her features in a I meant to do that face and looked around the snickering patio. "Come on everybody's over there." Ginny muttered . The duo quickly walked to their seats, Hermione making sure that she didn't kiss the floor again.

"Hello everybody," Ginny greeted smiling happyily and sitting down in the chair that her fiance had pulled out for her. Hermione glanced around the table; Next to Harry was the women that she had seen with Ron last time she was here,next to her was a tall curly haired reddish-brown haired man with the largest brown eyes Hermione had ever seen that must be Chudley, the dirty pervert; and then there was Ron in blue, yea he looked absolutely lovely in blue, he should wear blue everyday. If she was married to him she wouldn't allow him in anything else. _Whoa, Where did that come from? A bit controlling aren't we?_

"Uh, Hermione?" Hermione snapped out of her musings and looked up at Ron who was now standing next to her looking worried. "Did you bang your head?" _ He's talking to me! He hasn't talked to me in seven years!_ Hermione continued to stare at the red head oblivious to a huge orange dog coming up behind her. "Mio…" 

"What the bloody hell!" Hermione shirking and jumping away from the cold nose between her legs coincidentally into Ron's arms, knocking him down and onto the floor. Ron apparently couldn't take it any more he burst out laughing. Hermione turned red and pushed against Ron's chest to get out of his hold, Ron however just held tighter and laughed harder.

"Stop it Ron, it's not funny!" Hermione scolded.

Ron snorted. "My…my Hermione Helen Granger just siad Bloody! This is going on my list of favorite memorys, right up there with the amazing bouncing ferrett." He said a starry eyed. "Ah those were the days, bouncy bounce Malfoy!"

The raven-haired witch snickered. "You need a life Weasley. How about you let go of Granger and she can tell us what she's been doing with herself." Ron quickly helped Hermione up, muttering sorry while the tip of his ears turned a lively shade of pink. "You've already met Chudley." She said gesturing to a huge orangeish-brownish dog. "This is Bob Wyatt, Auror trainee and I'm Blaise Zabani, I believe we went to school together?"

"Oh, I thought you were Chudley." Hermione said settling into the chair next to the Ron and the dog that had settled down at Ron's feet.

Ron sniggered. "No Bob only has an interest to get in between one person's legs." He muttered to Hermione who promptly slapped him on the arm.

Blaise oblivious to her co-workers comment continued to vie for hostess of the year award while Ginny and Harry were talking quietly. "So Granger what have you been doing for the past…what seven years?"

Hermione nodded. "I'm a professor of arthimacy at Winders School. It's a little bitsy school in Montana."

"Ugh, I hated Arthimacy." Bob shuddered. "Professor Victor creeped me out, you now not really looking people in the eye."

Hermione smiled, she liked this calm man. "Yeah, he had issues, he thought if he looked you in the eye then you'd steal his soul."

Bob chuckled. "Figures, anybody who has to deal with math day after day will probably go mad."

"That would be Mione." Ron grinned throwing an arm around her shoulder. Hermione stared at the shoulder _What's going on?_

**********

Harry Potter grinned. Dinner was going wonderfully, Ron and Hermione were getting along beautifully together just like old times…well no not really. Dinner was marvelous though, the pork chops were great, and dessert was better then…well no not really but it was very good. Chudley had only stolen one rib-eye steak. Ron had taken up for the dog by saying that Chudley was only trying to help the customer's cholesterol stay down. So the only bad thing that was going wrong with dinner was it was coming to an end. Bob and Blaise had already left stating that Bob didn't really know where to Floo to so that they were going to walk home. Yeah Right.

********

The cold air hit Ron in the face when they left Susams or as Ron liked to call it Stupids. _No good bad words start with an S do they?_ Ron thought to himself tightening Chudley's leash when he saw a fish and chips stand still open, _Merlin who wants a fish at eleven at night?_

"Bye, you two." Ginny said hooking arms with Harry and turning around the block.

"So…" Hermione said looking down.

"Yeah." Ron answered. 

"Woof!" Chudley said happily, proablly hopeing that they would get some ice cream or maybe some fish and chips.

"You're talking to me?" Hermione asked glancing up at the red head.

"Yeah, forgive and forget right?"

Hermione smiled. "Thanks." hugging him.

He smiled. "No problem, come on Mione. There's a little ice cream parlor around the block. Let's go get some."

An: Yeah I'm done. Please review or Chudley will eat you out of house and home!

__


	6. Superwomen

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.

An: This is Post-OOTP (post means after right?) 

"So you and Mione are best friends again?" The boy-who-lived asked. "Just like that? Kind of weird."

Ron shrugged his shoulders while pouring a glass of milk and then promptly throwing it out again, chunky milk really wasn't his thing. "I suppose so, it has been seven years since we've seen each other."

"No harboring resentment? No curse throwing? No mean retorts? NO FIGHTING OF ANY KIND!?" Harry Potter finished off in a shrill screech. " The world is ending. Tell me when is the asteroid going to hit?"

Ron rolled his eyes, after the defeat of Voldemort Harry had become a bit dramatic apparently no death threats on his or people he cared about lives made his life a bit boring. "No mate I'm sorry, but if you ask pleasantly me and Mione might throw a punch or two at the wedding."

"Ha, Ha." Harry said pushing up his glasses and taking the muffins that Mrs. Weasley had sent over to last week out of the 'borrowed' breadbox that had mysteriously disappeared from the burrow three years ago. "Forgive and Forget? I know a lot of people that would like to meet this new Ron."

"Shut it prat. Besides it's not healthy to hold a grudge." Ron said settling on water being his safest bet. 

"Yeah, except if it's about Terr…"

"The man should rot! He made Mione cry."

"And you haven't?" Harry said tossing his muffin in the air and sadly being intercepted by Chudley who swallowed it whole. "Damn dog." 

"You deserved it." Ron said glaring at his best friend. Chudley wagged his tail and whined, he hadn't eaten in five hours, and it was feeding time again.

"I only speak the truth." Harry said shrugging. " I'm going over to Sirius's want to come?"

Ron shook his head no "I have some work I need to do."

*****************

The Black's household had the same homey feeling that the burrow offered except that everything matched and no pictures of a huge redhead family. Just a shrine to an adorable, chubby baby girl.

Harry grinned as he watched his god-daughter Kallisto successfully stuff half of Chudley's ear into her little mouth. The dog waited patiently while Kalli gnawed on his ear, apparently he felt a kinship to anybody who had the compulsion to put everything they came across in his or her mouth.

"No, Kalli, yucky, No-no." Sirius Black said yanking the ear away from his daughter, whose eyes promptly began to fill with tears. "Oh all…"

"Sirius Black don't even think about it." The ex-convicts wife of five years, Gina interrupted grabbing her daughter out of her Sirius's hands and quickly wiping the brown eyes of her daughter. "Honestly you would give her a stick of dynamite if you thought it would make her happy." She said mock glaring at her husband who sent her a bewildered look.

"Dynawhat?" 

"A muggle thing," Gina said kissing her husband's forehead. "Forget I said it." 

Harry smiled, he was thrilled that Sirius had found somebody. After Remus had died in the final battle at Hogswarts everyone in the Order had been frightened that maybe the last brick in Sirius's wall of sanity had been chipped away. Sirius had disappeared in his dog form for two years, finally resurfacing with Gina. Gina a muggle veterinarian had found him and nursed him back to health, she had nearly shot him when he had turned into a man in front of her. The couple had married three years later in a small ceremony with just Harry and Gina's mother present.

"Well it was lovely seeing you but I've got to run Ginny told that I need to go and get everybody's robe size and bring them back to her, if I'm late she'll kill me." Harry said yanking on Chudley's leash

**********

"I want green." Ginny proclaimed crossing her arms and daring Hermione to say something.

"But Ginny not that green, what about uh…a darker one?" Hermione begged staring at the bright neon dress robes that Ginny that was currently considering her groomsmen should wear. "It'll clash with your brothers' hair."

"So?"

"It'll clash with yours." The four magic words.

Ginny nodded and flipped through the magazine. "You're right but I want something that's springish, Harry would prefer black but that is so boring. How about pink?" The bride to be asked, looking up at her maid of honor who was violently shaking her head. "Fine what color should I pick?"

" Uh, blue and how about a cut like this?" Hermione asked handing her the marked page. Ginny stared at the wizarding model that was winking seductively at her while flouncing in his robes. "Hmm…I think I like it the cut of the robe. It will make Harry's shoulders look broad and show off his cute little a…"

"I don't want to hear that Gin." Ron said "And how can you think that robe will show off any body's bum?"

Ginny jumped. "Oh hey Ron I didn't hear you apperate." 

"I apperated into the shower. What are you doing here? Don't you have a home of your own?"

"I do but Hannah has decided that it's time for winter cleaning, I'm afraid that she'll try to disinfect me if I stay home for too long." Ginny said referring to her ninety-year-old maid who was a tad bit OCD. 

"Why don't you just let Mum clean up? She does it for us." 

"Because that would involve giving her key."

"You need to get over this privacy thing."

Ginny made a face at him. "For the first time in my life I don't have to share a bathroom with any one. I intend to keep it that way."

Ron rolled his eyes and turned to Hermione. " Can you imagine what our God-children are going to be like?"

Hermione who had been acting engrossed in the WitchBide Magazine while clearing her mind of the image of Ron in the shower, looked up. "Wha…children? Our what?" _Is he asking if I want to have his children?_

"God-children." Ron said slowly enunciating each syllable. 

"Oh." Hermione said blushing. "Well err… special I suppose." The brunette said quickly going back to her book.

Ron stood staring and grinning at her. "Mione, Mione ten years have passed and you still have your head in a book."

"Ron, Ron ten years have passed and you still tease me."

Ginny grinned looking back and forth between her brother and friend; a plan was brewing in her head. "Well me and Mione are done for the day. I just need Harry to bring the measurements, he's late I'm going to kill him. How about you two go and get something to eat?"

"Uh no Ron probably has a lot of important things to do." Hermione said standing up. " And I should really…"

"No I'm free tonight." Ron said cheerfully. "And starving, I know a great place, and it won't be busy."

Hermione smiled. "Well okay."

"Great."  
  
"Great."

Ginny rolled her eye while they stared at each other. "Bye."

Hermione blushed again. _Merlin she's worst then me_ Ginny thought to herself ."Bye Ginny."

The youngest Weasley grinned when they both were gone. "I'm amazing."

"Yes you are." Ginny turned around. " Harry, guess what you're amazing almost wife just did." Before Harry could answer Ginny danced up to him; reminding the boy who lived that he didn't love Ginny for her rhythm. " I set Ron and Hermione up! Seventeen years and I'm the first one who even thought about it. Harry you're marrying superwomen."

"What's superwomen doing tonight?" Harry asked wiggling his eyebrows.

Ginny grinned. "I got plans with superman."


End file.
